My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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