I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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