making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dick very happy bro
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
