there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
