Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
