I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
