Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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