I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize