There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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