Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
