we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
