Screwed.edu
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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