She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
