if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
