I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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