Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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