In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
