We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
