dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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