I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
