Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
