You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
