I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
