Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
