I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
