I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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