Your tits are I can't wait for
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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