I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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