you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
