thus making me awesome and them whores
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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