He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
