that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
