Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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