yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
