Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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