You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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