Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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