Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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