i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
