There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
