Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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