Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
