Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
