Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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