I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
