i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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