i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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