marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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