she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize