I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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