My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm too high and old for this...
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