He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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