Already got asked if we're dating
I wish I could teleport
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
