Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
