Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
