i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
