just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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