Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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