My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
