Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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