how can u be prego again
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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